Getting Over the Woulda, Coulda, Shouldas

How many times have you tortured yourself by thinking about the past and what you think you should have done differently? How many times do you look at your current life situation and think if you only did or did not do X,Y, or Z two months or six years ago, things would be better now? This is a common problem with all of us because it is not until time passes that we fully realize that we did, in fact, make some mistakes in the past and that we probably should have done things differently. As they say hindsight is 20/20.

But know what? It does not matter now and thinking about it will do you no good. It will hold you back from totally living in the present moment and taking control of your life from this point forward. I recently have suffered from a case of the ''woulda, coulda, shouldas.'' Having gained better control of my thought processes over the years, I caught myself pretty early. Sure, I messed up in the past and I did not use my time well in certain respects. But, what was I accomplishing by stewing over it now? That time is gone and is never coming back. The best I could do was learn from that and focus on now and doing things now that I know will benefit me.

We can do whatever we want if we make the firm decision that we will - sounds obvious, but it is something many of us fail to do. Instead of directing the course of our lives, we fall to the mercy of things outside of ourselves. The past does not matter. The mistakes you made then will only hold you back if you believe they will. Today is a clean slate and anything that happened before that is irrelevant if you decide it is. If your past actions have led you to a less than desirable situation in the present, you are not doomed to live with the consequences of your past decisions. At this point, it comes down to making a choice: lamenting over what you should have done differently and accepting your life as it is in this moment or focus on each moment as it comes in the now and make the choices that will get you what you want. It is simple, but surely not easy sometimes. But if it means being happier, I think it is worth it.

People often ask me what materials I have used to develop the mindset I currently possess. Well, there have been a lot, but the first piece of material that really resonated with me and actually carried me from just reading about techniques to improve my life to actually using them was Bob Doyle's Wealth Beyond Reason Program. Learn how to utilize the law of attraction for your benefit, not your detriment.

I have also authored the book ''Passing on Parenthood: A Childfree Woman Speaks Out", a great read for the childfree, the undecided and even parents and those who are sure they want kids in the future. Some food for thought for everyone in there.

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