Warning Signs of a Failing Relationship - Pick Up The Phone - Series - Part 5

As I continue giving you warning signs of a failing relationship, I must reiterate how important it is to communicate with your partner. When you avoid communication, you can safely assume that there will be trouble down the road. One of the ways to avoid the communication is by not making yourself available for your partner. Are you finding yourself checking the caller ID on the cell phone, only to notice that it is your partner, and then hitting the ignore button? Do you ignore text messages because you have nothing to say? Do you find yourself making excuses as to why you didn't pick up the phone? If any of the above describes what you are doing to your partner, then you really need to ask yourself why you are avoiding conversation.

I'm sure we can all recall a time when we couldn't wait to hear the phone ring, (back in the day there were no cell phones and no caller ID) hoping that it would be that special person. A friendly call to simply say hello and to ask how your day was going was something you waited and waited for. The ringing of the phone was like music to your ears and gave you the fluttering butterfly feeling in your stomach. You had so much to say - yet nothing to say at all. Being in love was so wonderful. And everything that your partner had to say was of the utmost importance! Communication was simple back then because you wanted to tell your partner everything about your day and hear everything about theirs.

Fast forward to today. Now you couldn't care less about their day. I can just picture some of you rolling your eyes to the back of your head when you see the caller ID of your partner come up on your cell phone. The ignore button has never been used so much. You probably hit the ignore button more on your partner than you do on telemarketers. Am I right? Well, all you're doing is prolonging the inevitable. Sooner or later you will have to talk to him/her. They will be coming home at the end of the day, and you will need to come up with some valid excuses as to why you couldn't pick up the phone. You can only use the same excuses so many times before your partner starts catching on. Sometimes it takes longer than you think for them to suspect that you are avoiding them at all costs. But eventually they can tell that you just don't want to talk to them. Frustration sets in and accusations start to fly. Insecurity strikes and all of a sudden you're in the middle of a full blown brawl. In your head you know you were just trying to avoid talking to your partner. But in your partner's head, they are conjuring up all types of scenarios as to why you can't, or won't, answer the phone. The lack of communication causes assumptions and before you know it, you are in a screaming battle trying to defend yourself simply because you just didn't feel like hearing your partner's voice.

The sad truth is that if you don't want to hear from your partner, the relationship is on the decline. The sound of their voice should not disgust you or make you hit the ignore button. If things have gotten to a point that you are avoiding calls daily, it is time to get some serious help. The lack of interest in each other's lives means that you are focusing your interests somewhere else. For a while you may be distracting yourself by doing innocent things like shopping, meeting up with friends, or playing a sport. But sooner or later, you may become so detached from your partner's life that you start looking for other ways to fill a void.

The only way you will be able to solve this problem is to communicate until you can pinpoint what made you start pulling away and avoiding your partner. As we all know, trying to do it on your own is very difficult, and most of the time couples can't get to the root of the problem because arguments start when they try to communicate. Both want to get their point across, while at the same time neither want to admit their fault in the matter.

If you are dedicated to your relationship and truly love the person you are with, you will go to any length to save the relationship. We fail to remember that relationships are a work in progress and that maintenance is needed to keep things running smoothly. I can guarantee you that a costly divorce and heartbreak are not the road you want to go down.

Cheers, Coach Lisa
LifeCoachLisa
(440)856-3670
Guiding you to a healthier and happier relationship one session at a time.

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