Warning Signs of a Failing Relationship - Pick Up The Phone - Series - Part 5

As I continue giving you warning signs of a failing relationship, I must reiterate how important it is to communicate with your partner. When you avoid communication, you can safely assume that there will be trouble down the road. One of the ways to avoid the communication is by not making yourself available for your partner. Are you finding yourself checking the caller ID on the cell phone, only to notice that it is your partner, and then hitting the ignore button? Do you ignore text messages because you have nothing to say? Do you find yourself making excuses as to why you didn't pick up the phone? If any of the above describes what you are doing to your partner, then you really need to ask yourself why you are avoiding conversation.

I'm sure we can all recall a time when we couldn't wait to hear the phone ring, (back in the day there were no cell phones and no caller ID) hoping that it would be that special person. A friendly call to simply say hello and to ask how your day was going was something you waited and waited for. The ringing of the phone was like music to your ears and gave you the fluttering butterfly feeling in your stomach. You had so much to say - yet nothing to say at all. Being in love was so wonderful. And everything that your partner had to say was of the utmost importance! Communication was simple back then because you wanted to tell your partner everything about your day and hear everything about theirs.

Fast forward to today. Now you couldn't care less about their day. I can just picture some of you rolling your eyes to the back of your head when you see the caller ID of your partner come up on your cell phone. The ignore button has never been used so much. You probably hit the ignore button more on your partner than you do on telemarketers. Am I right? Well, all you're doing is prolonging the inevitable. Sooner or later you will have to talk to him/her. They will be coming home at the end of the day, and you will need to come up with some valid excuses as to why you couldn't pick up the phone. You can only use the same excuses so many times before your partner starts catching on. Sometimes it takes longer than you think for them to suspect that you are avoiding them at all costs. But eventually they can tell that you just don't want to talk to them. Frustration sets in and accusations start to fly. Insecurity strikes and all of a sudden you're in the middle of a full blown brawl. In your head you know you were just trying to avoid talking to your partner. But in your partner's head, they are conjuring up all types of scenarios as to why you can't, or won't, answer the phone. The lack of communication causes assumptions and before you know it, you are in a screaming battle trying to defend yourself simply because you just didn't feel like hearing your partner's voice.

The sad truth is that if you don't want to hear from your partner, the relationship is on the decline. The sound of their voice should not disgust you or make you hit the ignore button. If things have gotten to a point that you are avoiding calls daily, it is time to get some serious help. The lack of interest in each other's lives means that you are focusing your interests somewhere else. For a while you may be distracting yourself by doing innocent things like shopping, meeting up with friends, or playing a sport. But sooner or later, you may become so detached from your partner's life that you start looking for other ways to fill a void.

The only way you will be able to solve this problem is to communicate until you can pinpoint what made you start pulling away and avoiding your partner. As we all know, trying to do it on your own is very difficult, and most of the time couples can't get to the root of the problem because arguments start when they try to communicate. Both want to get their point across, while at the same time neither want to admit their fault in the matter.

If you are dedicated to your relationship and truly love the person you are with, you will go to any length to save the relationship. We fail to remember that relationships are a work in progress and that maintenance is needed to keep things running smoothly. I can guarantee you that a costly divorce and heartbreak are not the road you want to go down.

Cheers, Coach Lisa
LifeCoachLisa
(440)856-3670
Guiding you to a healthier and happier relationship one session at a time.

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Cameron warning over China trade - BBC News

10 November 2010 Last updated at 11:56 GMT David Cameron said that China's economic power gave it economic and political "responsibilities" UK Prime Minister David Cameron has stepped into the row over "currency wars" with a warning that China should act to correct its trade imbalance.

In a speech at Peking University, he said that China's export success was a potential threat to other economies.

China's huge trade surplus is in part attributed to the weakness of the yuan, which helps the country's exporters.

But ahead of the G20 summit, China's President Hu Jintao said countries must "face their own problems".

Latest figures show that China's trade surplus rose to $27bn (£17bn) in October, despite rapid economic growth in the country starting to cool.

Critics blame Beijing for keeping the yuan artificially low, which helps boost exports and has led to China building up massive amounts of foreign reserves.

Mr Cameron, who is leading a trade mission to the country, said he wanted "to make the positive case for the world to see China's rise as an opportunity, not a threat".

'Responsibilities'

He said China can play a leading role in dealing with economic problems as the world emerges from recession.

But China's increasing economic muscle has given it "responsibilities" both economically and politically, said the prime minister.

In an apparent reference to the low valuation of the yuan, Mr Cameron said: "The truth is that some countries with current account surpluses have been saving too much while others like mine with deficits have been saving too little.

"And the result has been a dangerous tidal wave of money going from one side of the globe to another.

"We need a more balanced pattern of global demand and supply, a more balanced pattern of global saving and investment."

Critics, especially in the US, have called for tariffs on Chinese imports unless the yuan is allowed to appreciate.

It is feared that other countries will rush to allow currency devaluation to also make their exports more competitive.

The issue will be a key topic at the G20 summit in South Korea on Thursday and Friday.

Interference

However, in an interview with China's official Xinhua news agency, President Hu Jintao told countries to "face their own problems" rather than casting blame.

Separately, China's vice foreign minister Cui Tiankai rejected foreign interference in what Beijing regards as an internal matter.

"The recent crisis was certainly not caused by China's currency," he said in an interview.

An he warned that the summit should not descend into a row about currencies. If either side "chooses a confrontational approach, I think everybody will come out as losers", he said.

Meanwhile in London, Mervyn King, the governor of the Bank of England, also called for co-operation, not confrontation, at the summit.

"I hope that at the G20... we will get a co-operative message rather than some of those that we have been getting in the last few days and weeks."

But he said that the G20 must agree to let current account imbalances unwind, rather than impose targets and policy instruments.

This, he said, was in the collective interest.

"Unless we recognise that... then we will face a situation where more and more countries will resort to policy instruments that in the end will be damaging to everyone. It is that serious."

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Ireland's Lenihan sounds warning over EU treaty change - Reuters

DUBLIN | Thu Oct 28, 2010 10:52am EDT

DUBLIN Oct 28 (Reuters) - Ireland would oppose any change to the European Union's main treaty if it meant the character of the union was altered, Finance Minister Brian Lenihan said on Thursday.

Germany and France were seeking on Thursday to convince the rest of the EU that the bloc's main treaty, the Lisbon Treaty, must be changed to help avert future financial crises. [ID:nLDE69R1FF]

"We are not ... in principle opposed to all treaty changes in these matters but we do take issue with any treaty change which would involve a fundamental change in the character of the union itself," Lenihan said in parliament.

(Reporting by Carmel Crimmins)

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