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In marriage, as in business, communication is considered to be the key. However, did you ever consider the possibility that we tend to blame a lack of communication for everything that goes wrong? We just ran out of garbage bags or copy paper, and we immediately think "Oh, oh, someone failed to communicate our needs." Communication, or the lack thereof, has become our favorite scapegoat, and instead of actually cooperating and fixing our problems, we sit around casting blame. How much more efficiently we would be able to operate if we spent our time dealing with the real issues instead of lumping everything into the general category of communication.
Instead of jumping to the mistaken conclusion that communication was the culprit, take a minute to stop and ferret out the underlying cause of the problem. Why don't you have any garbage bags? You meant to write them on your list but Jimmy skinned his knee and you never got it done? Your husband told you he'd taken the last one for yard work, but you were in the middle of cooking dinner and the lack of garbage bags just wasn't an issue right then? Communication was not lacking in these instances. Instead, life intervened and threw you curve balls. It's no one's fault, and there's no need to try and cast blame.
Blaming your spouse for things beyond his or her control will be detrimental to your relationship. You can try to blame your husband for attempting to talk to you while you were busy cooking, saying that he should have told you about the bags when you weren't busy, but what purpose does that serve? Instead of trying to break every problem down into who to blame, you need to resign yourself to the fact that life happens, and no one is perfect, not even you. Don't expect too much from anyone, and you won't be disappointed.
In general, if people are not communicating effectively, there is another, deeper reason for the problem. If your spouse seldom has time to converse with you, what's troubling him or her? Don't take it personally when the problem probably has nothing to do with you. Maybe there's trouble at work, a conflict with a friend, or health issues. There's nothing that can't be helped by just sitting down and discussing what you're perceiving and trying to find out what's really going on. If you don't take the time to both talk and listen, your marriage is headed for far greater problems than you're having now.
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