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Welcome to June! June is the sixth month of the year and is most likely named after the goddess Juno. As the goddess of marriage, it became popular to marry in June, a trend that continues today, particularly in the northern hemisphere. Relationships and relationship satisfaction therefore will be our first theme this month. What can you do to ensure a happy ongoing relationship with your partner? On the 21st of this month summer solstice takes place in the northern hemisphere. It is the day with the longest daylight and so perhaps is a good time to celebrate International Picnic Day, which is officially on the 18th. I will discuss reasons why planning a picnic can be good for you. Also celebrated this month is World Juggling Day, which you may or may not have heard of. I think this gives us a great opportunity to try new things and I will talk about this further.
Have a happy relationship
If you are married, recall the time spent preparing for your wedding. The effort you went to so that everything went right on the day. Even the simplest of weddings involves planning and an investment of time and energy. Think back and remind yourself of this effort. So if this was the work you put in before you were married, how about the effort you put in now you are married? It's easy to assume that marriages either work (the couple got lucky), or they don't. What follows are some simple ideas to keep you in a happy relationship, whether you are married or not.
Make up quickly. Arguments are inevitable. In fact keeping quiet about an issue will make you more miserable in the long run and could even harm your health. Research conducted in Maryland in the US shows women who kept quiet during an argument were at greater risk of depression, irritable bowel syndrome and even death. It is okay to speak up, but it is also important to listen. Understand where your partner is coming from than work on a solution that is agreeable to the both of you. Make the effort to do it sooner rather than later, so things do not get out of hand.
Related to resolving conflict is forgiveness. Try to forgive transgressions -- you will feel better for it. If something serious has happened in your relationship that you are struggling to forgive, don't shy away from speaking to a counsellor. They can help put things into perspective.
Practise gratitude on a daily basis. Remind yourself of all the good things your partner does. Why are you glad they are in your life? It's easy to focus on what they don't do. This is an opportunity to alter your perception and focus on the great things they bring to your relationship.
Make time for each other. Life can often get in the way of taking time out as a couple. However if you can put the effort in to do things for just the two of you, it will help maintain feelings of love and affection. You may have to schedule it in like an appointment; just make sure you don't cancel on them.
Don't be afraid to hold hands, hug and kiss. This is easily implemented and there's no rule that says only teenagers can do it.
Eat outdoors
There's something lovely about a picnic. Being outdoors, with a selection of foods to munch over. It's probably the most relaxed way of eating. Whether you picnic alone, with your partner, friends or family, it is a great chance to unwind and forget your worries. Not only that but it gives you something to plan and look forward to. Where will you go, what will you cook, who will you invite? Will you play games or just chat or read books? Since it's your picnic, you get to decide the details. If you want a leisurely day, pick up some cheese, grapes and a baguette on the way to your chosen destination. No preparation required. Don't forget the knife though. And since we're not too worried about rules, don't be concerned if it rains. You can always have your picnic indoors or sat in the car.
Learn how to juggle
Is learning how to juggle really the way to happiness and greater wellbeing? It could be. It's a chance to learn a skill and if you wish, take it to greater and greater levels. One day you're throwing a couple of balls in the air, the next you're juggling swords. Except it doesn't work like that. Learning any skill requires dedication and persistence and probably a good dose of optimism to help you keep going. As you embark on your juggling journey you will get great satisfaction from your accomplishments, especially when you successfully overcome obstacles.
So this month, take the opportunity to learn a new skill -- it doesn't have to be juggling, just whatever appeals to you. You can learn a great deal about yourself and discover a level of determination you didn't realise you had.
Remember
Every month there is a reason to be happy.
Copyright Julia Barnard
Julia Barnard is a counsellor and author living in Adelaide, Australia. You can discover more ways to be happy through her book: Promoting Happiness: a workbook to help you appreciate and get the most out of your life.
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