Getting Your Way With People

Here's a scenario:

You're in an art gallery. An attractive person catches your eye. They're alone. You're excited and your heart beats faster. You'd love to say something. You start to panic. What do you do?

Approach them of course! The sad fact is that most people will not go up to someone because they are too scared. The same problem applies in the business world. Would it not be great if you could just approach someone because you fancy them or because they might be a useful contact?

Do you ever:

Panic at the thought of approaching an attractive stranger or new people in general?

Wonder why others seem to be able to: flirt, be popular, and enjoy successful careers?

The Solution:

Not getting your way with people is usually due to a lack of confidence and poor interpersonal skills, which are the basic skills we use to interact with people such as words, voice, appearance and body language. The terms communication skills, people and soft skills are also used to mean Interpersonal skills.

Do you realise that the biggest impact we make on others is primarily through appearance and body language and then its the voice? People give least importance to the words they hear! Most people have already made up their minds just from observing you from a distance.

People with good interpersonal skills are usually confident too. Confidence radiates out and it puts others at ease. Whereas people can sense fear and it makes them uncomfortable.

Unless you can point a gun at someone it means you need to get things done through persuasion and cooperation. You cannot coerce people to like and accept you. If you do become likeable then people will feel good about helping you and being around you. You will find it easier to get that important business deal, or that job, or that special person.

Improving your interpersonal skills increases your chances of successful interaction which can only have a beneficial effect on your social and professional life.

My own sales experience taught me that customers support those sales people who they like at a personal level. That is the case with major business deals which are done at director, and even at government to government level.

As you become more successful you will enter a virtuous cycle where success builds on success.

Your happiness will radiate out and people will feel attracted to you, whether they are professional and business contacts or someone you want to impress in your personal life. The benefits of improved interpersonal skills are endless.

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My name is Mo Shahin. I developed my own brand of interpersonal skills through a combination of study and practical experience of dealing with a variety of people in the commercial world. I use the same techniques to make friends from all walks of life. I built a huge list of phone numbers from meeting new people at all sorts of places e.g. museums, shops, conferences, public parks and even in the street. Result: financial security and a large list of useful phone numbers!

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