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Throughout my life I have had to face challenges and obstacles. I failed to shine in my education, I failed to maintain my relationships, I failed to manage my finances and I failed to keep myself fit and healthy. Every time I managed to get a handle on any of these aspects of my life, others aspects starts becoming a problem. I was firefighting all the time. It began to tire me out and I felt like giving up many times. Thus began my vicious cycle of misery.
It wasn't until I discovered that the cause of these challenges and obstacles was not out there. It was within me and until I worked on myself, I would never be able to get out of this vicious cycle.
When I began my education in personal success, it became apparent that there were two things I learnt (and believed in) that I had to unlearn before I can start to truly live to the fullest the potential of my personal success:
Successful people are born, not madeSuccessful people are always at the right place and the right time
These two learnings shaped the way I made my decisions and the actions I would take and thus the results I get.
So let's talk about the first one.
Learning #1 Successful people are born, not made - NOT TRUE
I used to look at successful people with a lot of envy especially when they were my age. I thought that there were born with a silver spoon and were destined for success and greatness from young because of the circumstances of their birth. My measurements for success were the cars they drove, the clothes they wore and the lifestyle they led (I could never keep up with them). I find myself bearing a little resentment at their good fortune and often wondered why I wasn't born so fortunate.
These thoughts lead me to believe that success is only for the select and privileged few who are destined by fate to become the success stories or the great leaders while the rest of us are destined to live in our lives in the struggle of life.
The mistake I made was to equate those who were born into wealth with those who had developed the skills for success early on in life (let's not go into those who were born into wealth and wish them well for good fortune). Instead, let's ponder about those who had developed the skills for success early on in life.
There is such a thing as the skills for success and that everyone can learn them. Some people (like the ones I looked at with envy above) have simply been able to learn them early on in their life and the successes they enjoy now are the fruits of those learnings. The good news, for those of us that have not been able to learn them early on in our lives, is that we can many have learnt them later on in their lives and are enjoyng tremendous levels of success.
I now believe that 'Success is a skill and any skill can be mastered' and therefore it is something that can be learnt and if something can be learnt, then it can be developed and improved upon. All of us have the potential for greatness and success because we are all born with the ability to learn and therefore the opportunity to grow.
It is those who recognize this and take steps to master the skills of success that can break out of their circumstances and begin to truly be on the path of success. It is unfortunate though that not everybody recognizes and accepts this simple truth and because of that they do not take the efforts to turn their abilities into something that can contribute towards their success.
Learning # 2 Successful people are always at the right place and the right time - NOT TRUE
I use to believe this deeply. As a result of this particular belief, I never bothered to look at my abilities and improved upon them (based on the first learning above). Instead, I spent my time making myself 'available' for success to come. I spent my time waiting for my turn to strike it lucky.
It never came.
I have since learnt that the successful people out there do not wait to be at the right place and the right time because every place is the right place and every time is the right time. They look at their circumstances and environment and simply make the most out of it. They would discover their abilities and skills and improve on them. They would see out to make sure that others would benefit from their abilities and skills and they approach any situation with energy and spirit.
In other words, they do not wait for it to happen. They make it happen.
Our beliefs can be shaped by these two learnings. If you want to begin your journey towards success, it's time to unlearn them because the good news for us aspiring for success is that we too can develop a similar philosophy for success. There is no secret manual where only the few are privileged enough to have access to.
We can all learn it.
If we chose to.
Reza Ali is a writer, speaker, coach and consultant residing in Malaysia. Reza is an avid learner in the field of leadership and success and can be contacted at RezaAli.Net
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