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If you are a woman, you are born into a history of centuries that prohibits your happiness through myths, laws, guilt, shame and even abuse. How often do you feel guilty when you are having a great time? Do you begin to think of your kids? Do you feel that you are stealing time from others when you give yourself "too much time"?
If you are a creative, unique person or a spiritually-focused person, chances are that you have been trained to see your own happiness as selfish and to focus on giving to others at the expense of your own fulfillment.
In all these cases, there is an oppressive myth that serves as the thief of your happiness. It is the myth of selflessness. It goes like this: to be good you should be giving and generous. You should think first of others. You should focus on giving, not receiving. To be good, you should not be self-centered.
There are several problems with this belief. The first is simple to spot if we use common sense. If a person is not self-centered, then what is she other-centered? That is the definition of co-dependence! This little snapshot at the phrase "self-centered" reveals the basic falsehood in the Selflessness Myth. It pits the self against others and demands the betrayal of the self.
Here is a principle I want you to consider.
There is no oneness without Self.
The human experience of oneness is a trilogy.
Self + Others (including other humans, the environment and its creatures and the entire universe) + The Divine = Oneness.
If you ignore one of these elements, there is no oneness.
The war between self and others is artificial. It comes from separation and competition and from an exclusionary definition of power. You need to break free from its grasp. You need to consider that as you grow, you have better things to share; as you have more, you have more things to give; as you become happier, your joy spreads in the world. I invite you to experience the gifts that your happiness brings to the world!
I invite you to pay attention to your BodySoul and sustain your happiness every day.
Begin right now where you are seating. Pay attention to your Body and Soul. Listen with your breath. Do you feel a heaviness, emptiness or lack of connection to the world? These are signs that you are not happy.
Do you feel lightness of being, a fullness in your heart and a connection to the world around you? Do you feel motivated and eager to go about your daily work? These are signs that you are happy.
As you listen to your Soul, ask it about what makes you happy. Ask it about how you may be short-circuiting your happiness. How are you attached to duty or goodness scripts that steal your happiness? What true purpose is your self-sacrifice serving? God does not require you to sacrifice yourself.
You have a right to be happy! Your happiness is a sign that you are fulfilling your purpose and honoring your Soul.
However, we have created a lot of Happiness Placebos that give us only a Pretense of happiness. The first step to be happy is to spot and dismantle your Happiness Placebos, so that you can create genuine happiness in your life.
Here's to your joy! May it spread throughout the universe.
P.S. - See a video and learn more about Authentic Success and your right to happiness at: http://www.dreamalchemist.com/success-seed.htm.
Maria Mar is an author, poet, healer and spiritual teacher whose life mission is to help you break free from limitations so that you can master the art of living your dream right now, right here. A PBS-featured performer and visual artist, Maria has freed her vast creative potential and helps you do the same, designing a life and work experience that fulfills your soul's purpose. Maria marries her artistry and imagination with her wisdom and energy tools as a shaman to offer powerful tools for self-transformation, healing and manifestation. To see a video and find out more information about giving yourself the Seven Basic permissions to Succeed, visit: The Success Seed Gardening Kit.
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