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I was turning forty. it didn't seem so much different to being thirty nine, except i was no longer able to say I was in my thirties (somewhere between 28 and 38) and now I was in my forties, (somewhere between 78 and 100).
So, bought a Porsche, tried to have sexual relations (thanks Bill for the new language) with people half my age and went into hysteria about my appearance. I didn't evolve well. And nature made me pay for it.
I had plenty of support on this resistance to evolving. I lived in NYC and there were sexy gyms, beauty salons, men's wear shops, and a plethora of relatively poor, stunningly attractive young women who had come to NYC to become an overnight success, weren't and needed a sugar daddy. At the time I thought it was love, but alas again, nature tapped me on the shoulder, Evolve.. and I resisted with all my ego could muster (a lot)
To help with my resistance to nature's call to evolve, I blocked my ears, mind, heart and eyes to the signs the wiser alternatives, and between yoga classes, gym work outs with mirrors, bedroom gymnastics and Viagra, I added time for facial treatments at such delicious venues as Aveda and others with names like "You Are Amazing and Young if you come inside" - (the real names elude me and fading memory is part of aging process).
Evolve nature turned up the dial, I put on a few kilos around my belly in spite of twenty hours a week in yoga and gym classes, and eating like a baby rabbit.
To help fight nature's message, and armed with my Amex card, dressed in designer jeans and with my $200 gay salon hair cut, I visited Heavenly Heavens "De Wrinkle Shop" to turn back the clock (at least on my face) and be rubbed, scrubbed, pampered and have an untold number of zits and blackheads removed from my nose and chin.
To my horror, I had a small mountain of hairs plucked from my nose. I knew people with less hair on their head than I had harvesting in my nose. And hairs in my ears? Goodness me, was there another Amazon in there?
I also had my eyebrows shaved with a road sweeper and clogged pours dealt with using a jack hammer. But this was nothing to worry about really, because the whole time I was there, I was being looked at admiringly (how did they do that without puking) by a stunning, delicious, sexy, young woman, with qualifications that sounded like a NASA scientist but were really one day seminars at the local night school clinic.
The beauty ladies, princess' from the feel younger heavens, would swoon over me, dote on me and make me feel and look, way younger than my years, all in a few hours. I had, I thought, found a way around evolve.... but, I was wrong.
I walked out of those places so damn happy and looking so young I had to show my I.D at the bar to get a drink. Which of course was the problem because it was the drink in a sleazy smoky bar that turned my expensive new baby face back into something resembling the surface of the moon in three hours.
I'd get home half pissed from too many margaritas at the local still carrying my brown paper, designer carry bag with "Another Wood-duck" neatly emblazoned on it, and dive into that fancy bag full of bottles of Elixr that had cost me six times more than the facial. (enter the realization about how the beautiful young women were motivated not to puke as they desludged my face -commission on product sales)
I'd pour another scotch as a nightcap and get to work trying to reproduce at home what a stunningly beautiful, highly motivated woman had done to the backdrop sounds of rainforest waterfalls in the "heavenly clinic" - As you'll see, I failed.
First the exfoliant. A liquid I found more akin to the smell of a bad vodka in an Indonesian bar. I'd take out one of the 10 face wipes I'd paid more for than a pair of Armani undies and proceed to "gently cleanse and prepare" which in my language translated to soak the cloth in as much of that foul stuff and scrub the bejesus out of my face.
The intent was to awaken my skin for a refreshing next step. Instead, my face turned as red as butt after a whack from my ever worried father back when I was a kid" I guess that was at least one association I got to being young again.
What came off on this scouring process was incomprehensible - absolute Black....? Black? It looked like the make up I had to remover after playing one of the hay slinging, toting that bale chorus in Oaklahoma the musical.
Cripes, I'd say to myself, where'd this crud come from? It was only 3 -5 hours since I'd left the "forever young" facial shop.
Then the second shock, "I looked forty again"..
What came to pass was the realization that the youthful look on my face when leaving that salon that had cost me more than a 6 week holiday in the Bahamas, was more about the fact that I'd stopped worrying for an hour than any cream could offer.
Evolveyabastard - Experience is a crappy teacher.
I spent a fortune to realize I didn't need to spend a fortune.
Ponds cold cream costs $3.00 a bucket and good old dove soap at $1 is as effective on skin as any product, and that the real secret to staying young was the ability to stop worrying and stay happy.
A clean shirt and a good attitude could almost guarantee I'd never feel old again. So, I diecided to learn how to relax, stop worry and wash my shirts... here's my evolve realisations around staying forever young:
1. I'm as young as I feel and the worst thing I can feel is fat, lazy and immobile. So, I've absolutely got to, should, need to, want to, desire to, choose to and love to exercise to a burning sweat every day for a minimum of 20 minutes - and most important I change my activity if I'm not in love with it. Right now it's kayaking, but, if I stop loving it, I would take up pole dancing or whatever made me smile.
2. I must have some sort of spiritual practice (mine is natures universal laws) in order to see order in the chaos to calm my worries. I think a lot about a lot. I worry about global warming, starving children, violence, drugs, the disconnect with corporate executives and nature. If I don't have a process to put peace in my heart I am going to age at the rate of a formula 1 grand prix race car tyre... and probably look the same too. That's why I use and teach the laws of nature. Peace of mind.
3. I need a purpose in my life, something productive to do every day that stimulates my brain. Nobody beats me up more than me. I think we're all the same in this regard, we're all pretty hard on ourselves and that self diminishing stuff is really a short cut to the grave. And yet, I don't want to become good old Ego Chris like before and fight off nature to the point where she screams Evolve again... (ouch) so, instead of thinking "what's best for me" I think, "what's best for the purpose of my life" It's been the single greatest miracle in my life and has knocked about 30 years off my head and heart space... A purpose greater than me has got me out of me.
4. I love sex, frequently (used to be twice a day but now just once) in order to keep the fire in my belly burning. I know a lot of readers will claim this is trite and trivial but I've never felt older, more wrinkled, stuck or more dispirited than when I've gone through a long dry spell of sex withdrawal or, been in a relationship where the sexy part dried up. I've got mates who are married who haven't had sex since last Christmas - or their birthday... cripes they are older than King Tut, bored, boring and often workaholics. My advice to them when I couch execs who overwork? Go home have sex. (I mean great, tantric, loving, long delicious sex.. not wham bam good night sex)
5. And the final key, I have to be out in nature at least 3 hours a day. I think this is why the word is so commercial, consumer addicted and environmentally ignorant.. we are too much indoors. We've moved from 100% nature outdoors dependent to 100% indoors, synthetic dependent just in the past 100 years. No wonder we're in a mess, we just haven't evolved as humans as fast as our technology has. Nature is saying to the whole city life, EVOLVE but technology is accelerating and we're not. Being outdoors three hours a day, and making my home, work and family time an outdoors experience is the last, but most important step in my Forever Young strategy because this puts my life, love, heart, soul, mind and body in a loving state of youthful invigoration. And that for me is the secret to eternal youth.. Well at least preventing the age clock getting ahead of me.
I'm now 58, still paddle kayaks in the ocean, climb mountains in Nepal, love women, have plenty of energy and feel younger than I did at forty, so, it's working.
Chris Walker http://www.chriswalker.com.au/ offers a real life, everyday, raw and nature based awareness that helps people live from the inside out. It opens hearts from past challenges, frees vision, inspiration and life purpose and gives rise to true human potential in all the seven areas of life. Innerwealth is also a process, a process that helps people deal with everyday challenges, tap their intuitive nature and live, in a sense, guided from within. A leaders edge, a lovers heart. There are twenty books in the Innerwealth Series, including Sacred Love and Innerwealth, plus "the Laws of Nature for Better Relationships" weekly blogs and podcasts. Chris Walker also runs consultations, interventions and seminars on Innerwealth at work and at home. http://www.chriswalker.com.au/
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