Is Perfectionism Destroying Your Happiness?

We tend to think of perfectionism as a good thing, all the great artists writers and inventors seem to be perfectionists, so it must be a good thing, right?

What can be wrong with trying to achieve the highest possible standards at all times?

Well quite a lot, it seems! It's only very recently that I started to become aware of the downsides of perfectionism, how debilitating it actually can be and how much perfectionism can hold us back from achieving the success and happiness in life that we are striving for.

Here are some of the traits that you may possess if you are a perfectionist:

You feel that you and your environment must be perfect at all times
Your productivity at work is often too low as you are prone to procrastination because you are forever trying to achieve perfection
You have low energy due to the stress caused by your lack of results
In your intense efforts to always make the RIGHT decision, you are often unable to make any decision at all
You are often unhappy because nothing is good enough
You are critical of yourself and others
You work to an "all or nothing" principal - you don't want to do something AT ALL unless you can do it EXACTLY the way you would like to
You have a fear of making mistakes
You have a chronic fear of disapproval or criticism
You are more likely to suffer from performance and social anxiety

Do any of these characteristics sound familiar? They don't sound too great do they? In fact, the irony is that a quest for perfection often creates anything but perfection.

If you suffer from perfectionism, it IS a SERIOUS problem and you have to make your best efforts to reduce the impact that it has on your life. Being aware of the problems perfectionism can cause is the first step to enabling change.

So if you are afflicted by the perfectionist curse, then here are some solutions that may help:

Firstly, realise there's no such thing as perfection, so there's no point in trying to achieve it anyway.
Realise that perfectionism is a self esteem issue. If you spend all your time worrying about what others will think of you, then you'll endlessly question and over-scrutinise everything that you do. It's IMPOSSIBLE to please everyone all the time, so you shouldn't try to.
If you manage to persuade yourself that you REALLY don't care what others think about you, then you'll relax more, you'll be able to behave more naturally, you'll perform better, you'll be yourself and others are more likely to like you.
Mistakes are good, personal experience is the BEST way to learn
It doesn't REALLY matter if your home is a bit untidy or you haven't washed the car. Realise that people aren't actually going to dislike you for it and if they did dislike you for something so trivial, why would you want THEM as friends anyway?
Think about what is REALLY important in life and focus on those things rather than trying to make relatively unimportant things perfect.
Don't be scared to have a go at something just because you don't think that what you'll do will be good enough. Have a go, enjoy the experience and see what you learn from it.
Put the majority of your efforts into things that will help you to achieve long term happiness and contentment, rather than short term satisfaction, for example; tidying the house will only give you short term satisfaction, whilst being productive in your work will increase your chances of financial security, which in turn will give you freedom from financial worries and stress in the LONG TERM.

I know these things are easier said than done, but once you recognise how destructive and counter-productive perfectionism is, then you can begin to guide yourself away from those behaviours and begin to move towards a more rewarding, productive and contented life.

Helen is the author of the Richer Life Bulletin. The Richer Life Bulletin provides regular relevant information, tips and support with the aim of helping people who want to improve their lives. It is sent out free of charge. http://www.richerlifebulletin.com/

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