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You worry too much. Each of us has an inner moral instance that judges ourselves after some standards mostly borrowed from the society and surroundings.
That inner judge is not the real you. You don't have to please anyone, but yourself. Problem is that "yourself" does not exist but only in comparison and relationship to the meaningful people and standards you have. And that is wrong.
Here are some simple tools to apply in order to improve your life. No, it's not simple. Nothing is simple in life, unless you're a vegetable. Change comes with "simply" starting to apply what you have been hearing for a long time.
There is no magic pill or supreme force that is going to change your life without YOU starting to apply the followings:
1. Stop analyzing so much your feelings. Emotions are the juice of life but many times are the results of erroneous thinking. Learn to ignore the bad ones and focus on the good emotions.
2. Let go of worrying. You definitely worry too much. I know it for sure. It's eating your time and wasting your mental energy. Appreciate the soothing feeling of surrendering to the unknown, of accepting the inevitable lack of control sometimes.
3. Diminish the internal life commentary. Stop judging so much, we are all in the gutter. It's just some people are looking at the stars. Be one of them.
4. Ignore your inner critic. Reward yourself a little, give yourself a break. Accept and embrace the human being that the forces of your destiny created.
5. Give up on guilt. You are carrying with you conscious and unconscious guilt. It sucks up your mental energy, it makes you live looking all the time in the rear mirror. Let go of the past - it cannot be changed. Create the future with the awareness you have now of your past mistakes that shall not repeat.
6. Stop being so concerned of what others are thinking and saying about you. Some of them will never be satisfied, no matter how exceptional you'd become. Parents, lovers, bosses - some of them love being unsatisfied. Don't try to be a pleaser. Stop trying to buy their love or bribe for affection.
7. Stop keeping score. You may lose some battles but you can win the war. Don't take others too seriously, we all want the same things, it's just some of us are missing the path.
8. Let go of your concerns that your life and career are not working according to your success scenario. It's our innate nature to never be satisfied, to always want more after we achieved a milestone. Be grateful for who you are and what you deserve some self acknowledgement of your achievements.
9. Deny other people's effort to make you responsible for their own decisions. Let go of people who just keep asking from you without giving much in return. You are most likely carrying after you the burden of other people's existence who makes you responsible for their happiness or unhappiness.
10. Don't worry so much about your personality and it's minuses. In most cases, you don't have one - but borrowed principles and illusions of adequacy.
The world is a mixture of self delusions, mass hysteria and shared madness in the form of relationships. Our lives are governed by cognitive dissonance, delusions about self, traumas of the past and a subtle negotiation for the fulfilling of our core needs: security, connection, meaning.
Most of the time you're missing the present because you are filled with regrets of the past while hoping for future happiness IF some goals are fulfilled. You want happiness but never apply some rules to actually stop mentally procrastinating and start creating your life.
You need to stop being the victim of automated negative thinking patterns, a victim of the system, context and other people and be the creator of your life. It's possible, I've seen it happening in the people I worked with in counseling. Make the effort, it's worth it. Don't live a second hand life.
Sophie Rinaldi is a life coach and licensed counselor.
You can learn more about Sophie Rinaldi or have a session of online counseling through live chat at http://www.therapy-counseling.net
Sophie Rinaldi is an expert counselor and licensed therapist offering live advice through live chat or email sessions http://therapy-counseling.net/
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