How Your Values Can Create More Satisfaction Every Day

Want to know how your values can create more satisfaction and joy in your life every day? Upfront it's quite simple, clarify your core values and make daily choices that are in alignment with them. Unfortunately most of us face a different reality - we're so busy working, parenting and living that we're living a life which is more "just in time" instead of conscious and connected to our core.

Here's an analogy I like to use to help individuals just like you become aware of what it means to be more conscious of your core and core values.

Put your finger at the tip of your nose now. The tip of your nose is the part that starts to curve under. Guess what although you can see most of your finger, you can't see where the tip of your nose meets the tip of your finger. Although you know you have a "tip" on your nose you're not aware of what's happening there because it's out of your immediate sight. This is how most of us live every day - simply living your day without full awareness.

Now move the end of your finger up just a little bit and you'll be able to see it because now it's physically in front of you. If you're like 98% of the population you pay much more attention to what's visually in front of you. Although the tip of your nose is always there, just like your core values are a part of who you are, when you are not consciously making choices that are in alignment with them you are not taking action that is fully supportive of you creates a level of satisfaction and joy that continues to get you out of bed in the morning ready and excited to begin your day. You'll also notice that if you're not conscious of your core value that you probably tend to procrastinate when it comes to both your daily and long term goals.

The truth is, when you can't physically see something it's easy not to pay attention to it because although it seems like we should know what our core values are, most of us don't take time on a daily basis or even an annual basis to reconnect to them. Instead you may have made an assumption that your core values from oh a decade or so ago are the same ones that are most important to you right now. Guess what, change is constant, what that means to you is that your core values are also shifting in level of importance.

I've worked with hundreds of individuals who prior to our partnership spend more time creating a fun dinner with friends then they do focusing on what's at the core of their foundation often because they "think" they know. What they immediately learn is that some of what they said is most important is outdated or really the opinion of someone else, and they're not taking consistent action to support what is important. You can tell if this is you if you complain about things in your life.

Don't worry if you keep reading you'll learn a few things to help you get reconnected to what's most important.

Right now jot down your three most important core values. The mere action of doing this brings them into your current awareness. Now ask yourself, are these three values what I really think is most important or what I think should be most important. If it's the later do it again. Next to each value write down "why" it's your core value. What you're looking for is your emotional reason for the core value you choose. This emotional why is what makes your core value come alive to you. For example someone may choose "family" because their emotional why is "connection and adventure" and you may choose it because it's about "feeling taken care of and love" - for each person this is true.

Let's pretend you choose family, health and inner harmony as your top three core values. By making this choice you've just moved your finger from the tip of your nose where you can't see it, into your vision and consciousness.

When you become conscious you become more and more aware of yours true self; what's really important on a daily basis. It makes it easy to make choices that support you and fill you with more of your "emotional why".

Again, knowing your core values provides you criteria so that you are more aware of both what you don't want, and more importantly what you do want more of in your daily life. When you understand these distinctions you are able to more consciously stop complaining about what you can't control and do and take actions that support and create more of what supports your core values.

If you haven't reviewed your core values in the past six months I dare you to do so now and take one action every day that's in alignment with them. You're life will never be the same.

Take one action that can shift your life and get your free Values Clarification Tool now.

Michele Corey, partners with women and a few brave men to build their courage muscle and learn to say no to others more often so they can have more and more of what they want every day. Discover her musings on Smart Goal Setting.

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Lead With Values

What is important to you in life? Do you know what your values are?

Values are those things that are priorities. These can be anything from nature and beauty, adventure, learning, having fun, or honor and integrity. You know these things because when you see them in others, they bring you joy. When you experience them for yourself, they bring you joy. And when you don't have enough of them in your life, you feel empty, like life has lost meaning.

Too often, however, we live life without our values leading the way.

Perhaps you never sat down to examine and clearly identify what you value most.

Perhaps you are quite clear what you value but life's challenges have gotten in the way and the choices you have made have led you further from what is important to you. This happens when your needs are strong and seem so important that they trick you into focusing your attention on satisfying them in the moment and you stop making choices based on your values.

Needs feel strong. Personal needs are feelings that you are lacking in some way and they make it seem like they have to be satisfied immediately or else. Because your self-worth cannot function with a void, you will go out of your way to fill that void and satisfy that need. The need can be for recognition or for attention; you might feel the need for power or to be in control.

Whatever the need, if you make that need most important, then you put your values second and this costs you dearly.

Real needs such as shelter, clothing and food are survival needs and they are essential for life. When you are in survival mode, it is easy to put emphasis and focus on meeting these basic needs first and putting values second. Beauty hardly seems important if you are starving. Although even in doing this, there is a chance you can lose yourself and lose that part of you that loves and trusts and has faith because your values are not being honored.

The more you focus attention on something, the bigger it grows. So if you focus on getting needs met and not on fulfilling your values, then your needs seem to grow bigger and bigger. What you are truly focused on is the 'lack' or the 'void' and your attention goes toward filling that lack.

Values, on the other hand, fill you up without much effort. If connection is important to you, for example, then focus your attention on finding ways to connect with people throughout your day. Do this instead of thinking about how lonely you are without a life partner. Look for the love you already have in your life and, the more you find it (it is everywhere!), the bigger it will grow and the more satisfied and fulfilled you will be even without a love partner.

Susan put 'survival' over her values by staying at a job that did not fit her value structure. It was a cut-throat environment with bullying and backstabbing. Instead of leaving, she tolerated it for quite some time with the 'excuse' that she needed the job to survive; she needed money.

While that may be true, she did need to make money to pay her bills; she didn't honor herself. And when we don't honor ourselves, we lose ourselves. The cost is high.

Susan had succumbed to the environment and did not see that there were choices - the choice to leave. Once she decided she could no longer put up with it - the stress was impacting her health - she began to seek new employment. This created a shift in her where she reclaimed her power and rediscovered her values. She found a job whose culture more closely matched her values. She felt free - lighter and happier than she had in years. It was as if a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

All that time, she needed to shrink, to pretend, to 'walk on egg shells'. She could not be herself for fear of verbal assault, of not fitting in, or of being ridiculed. This is no way to live!

When your values lead the way, you never forget who you are. It is easier to stand up for yourself. You do what is 'right' which means you live in integrity. There is freedom here.

When you live by needs - the need to impress or to gain something from others, you put your power in the hands of others and it hurts. Needs are illusions; you have all you need. There is always enough - more than enough - and you are complete. If you feel you need something, it is best to ask for someone to meet that need for you; own it, in other words, rather than being at the mercy of it.

Living by your values ensures that you are free to be you and that you enjoy yourself. Leading by your needs, however, will feel as if you have to chase something and that you are not good enough without this thing that seems to be missing. It is not a relaxed feeling; it is a stressful feeling.

What do you value? What is most important to you as you go about your daily life? First identify the value and then find ways to incorporate that value into your life each day. You will find over time that you spend less time worrying about whether there is enough or if you are good enough, and instead, you'll enjoy life more.

Julie Donley knows firsthand what it means to conquer adversity. Having overcome addiction, a grave illness, divorce, the untimely death of her ex-husband, single parenthood, obesity, indebtedness and being laid-off three times, Julie brings a wealth of personal experience to her work. Julie has worked in psychiatric nursing since 1993 and founded her company, Nurturing Your Success, in 2001 to assist people in achieving their goals and working through change. She is the author of several books including Does Change have to be so H.A.R.D.? and The Journey Called YOU: A Roadmap to Self-Discovery and Acceptance and is named one of the top 100 thought leaders in her field. Learn more at http://www.nurturingyoursuccess.com/. Contact Julie at Julie@NurturingYourSuccess.com to have her speak at your next meeting or conference.

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