Dropping Stuff: A Human Frustration!

Don't you hate to drop things?

I do.

How many times a day, a week, a year, do you drop stuff? Could be your toothbrush, your morning pill, the coffee spoon, a coin, an earring, a contact, a pencil, a sheet of paper, the T.V. remote, a credit card----whew, and it goes on and on during your day. And guess what? Gravity exists, so don't expect it to float back into your hands. You have to bend that back, droop that neck and pick it up. Drop, pick-it-up, drop, pick-it-up!

Spilling is a first cousin to dropping, and because liquids seek its lowest level, it ends down there, where I've got to stoop and clean the mess. Those of you who have small children, multiple the spill factor ten times.

And what happens if I drop something that is breakable, the stuff I pick up is many-fold with its shattered pieces---longer stooping, and more time on my knees. Sometimes, I find myself saying a little prayer while in this position.

Dropping stuff has a domino effect. Follow along please. I have been dropping stuff for years and let's assume you are over thirty years old (did you ever see a teenager pick up a penny they dropped, or the clothes off their bedroom floor). O.K., back to this domino thing. After thousands of times dropping and picking up stuff, I develop a strong dislike toward this human fallibility. I curse under my breath, doesn't matter, it's still a sin---check the Ten Commandments list. My spouse, boss or friend, tells me to "get a grip." We argue. Then a comment is made that starts off with, "kiss my buttocks," and pretty soon I'm in "anger management" classes or in a confessional booth, discussing that commandment list.

No, it doesn't stop here, that domino continues to tip over the next one. After thousands of drops and pickups; my back and neck aches, and blood pressure elevates. Off to the doctor I go. He writes a prescription that causes side effects that makes me too relaxed, and guess what? I'm now dropping stuff twice my normal rate. So, I see a chiropractor. I'm manipulated, cracked, and spinal stretched and on my way out, I drop my car keys, pick up a quarter someone dropped (reflex response), and drop my sunglasses.

I remind myself, the words of Epictetus, and the famous philosopher, "It is not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters." Really neat philosophy, huh? Well, Epictetus, I gave it a try, and I still perceive dropping stuff, picking up stuff to be a pain of my human existence.

So, I surrender to the God-of-the-Drops, and form an image of the day I no longer drop things. It's not a pleasant image, as I recall the expression, "he just dropped dead." At last, I don't have to pick me up. Well, at that moment, paying my taxes and the drop-and-pick-up rituals, end.

Amen brother and sister, amen.

Retired psychologist and academician with thirty-five years of experience working with children, teens, and their families. Currently, author of two nonfiction books written for the layperson; A Guide for Effective Psychotherapy (a consumer's guide for understanding mental health services) and Give Teens a Break! (a positive look at teens). My passion remains the same, the growth and mental welfare of our children. Please visit my website: http://www.johnmorella.com/

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Mind-Set for Success - Frustration

Anyone who is in business for themself will have periods of frustration. There will be times when, no matter what you do or how hard you try, things just don't go the way you planned. And, if you're an Internet Marketer, those periods of frustration seem to come around with alarming regularity!

You may have outsourced some work and, no matter how detailed the brief you gave, the finished job was not as you imagined; or you downloaded a new product to help you in your business and it falls well short of delivering what the sales letter promised; or maybe your computer froze or the internet went down. As well as being frustrating, these can also be turned into positive experiences, either for your business or for you as a person.

In each case, it seems you have a choice - you can either get wound up or you can decide to see what you can take from the experience. Of the two, I know which I'd choose to serve both me and my business best.

So, let's look at those earlier examples one by one and see what benefits we can take from them that could help us in the future.

Your outsourced work didn't come back as you expected - well, I'm assuming you'd checked out the person you were using for the outsourcing and made sure they could prove they have satisfied customers from previous jobs. If that's the case, somewhere along the way, there's a communication failure - either you didn't prepare your brief as thoroughly as you thought you did, or your contractor did not read it properly.

Before you do anything more you need to make sure you let go of any frustration you're currently feeling - do whatever you need to do for this, count to 10, walk round the block, meditate for half an hour - but be sure when you begin the exercise you are feeling in an open, objective frame of mind.

Once you are, print out the brief you provided and read it through carefully. Now check it against the finished job - where do the two diverge? Is it obvious where the misunderstanding has arisen? Can you see any ambiguity in your instruction or does it seem as though the contractor has not read the brief properly?

It is vital at this point to remember the objective is not to apportion blame - it is to establish what has gone wrong so that a suitable remedy can be found. You should also bear in mind that a shouting match between you and your contractor is not going to move your business any further along the track to success.

So, having established where the problem lies, you can now do what is needed to rectify it - either, modify the way you've presented your brief and go back to your contractor and negotiate the necessary changes and their cost or, if you're certain your original brief was clear, you can contact your contractor and explain your concerns and ask them to redo the job to your specification.

Whatever the outcome of your own investigations, you will learn lessons that will help you going forward - whether it's to ensure you reread your brief - or better yet, give it to someone else to read who knows nothing about the job and ask them to explain to you what you're asking - or brushing up on your negotiating skills with a view to striking up a long-lasting business relationship with the contractor. The very worst that can happen is the contractor refuses to redo the work and, if that's the case, you've also learned a valuable lesson - even if it's only not to use that contractor again!

Now for that software you downloaded that does not do what it says in the sales letter - again, you need to make absolutely certain that you are in an objective frame of mind before tackling this. Take the time out you need. Then, go back over the sales letter - are there clear, unambiguous promises it just doesn't deliver on, or are there just vague hints at what you might, in an ideal world expect, and you read between the lines exactly what you wanted to read? Or are there any system requirements that your own computer spec doesn't match? Have you tried uninstalling and reinstalling the software? Again, you're not trying to find who is to blame, just where the problem lies so you have the best shot at fixing it, and, once you've done that, you can go through a similar process to the previous example to either get things back on track or chalk it up to experience, draw a line under it and move on.

And what if your computer freezes or the internet goes down? I used to get so wound up by these but now I see them as real opportunities. Sure, I'm temporarily unable to get on with what I'd intended to do but, while my computer recovers itself from whatever nastiness it had got involved with (you know the type of thing, a message will come up on the screen telling you that such-and-such a thing is happening followed by the totally redundant words 'Please Wait' - like you had a choice!) but what I have now got is a learning opportunity. If the problem needs my input, I can learn how to fix it quicker next time it arises. If it just needs me to hang around, then I have some time to catch up on any number of things; some reading, a little light exercise, a few minutes meditation, a personal brainstorming session, read a few paragraphs of that book I've had on my reading list for ages, or revisit my short, medium and long-term goals and assess my progress towards them.

There's lots of stuff we can do in the analogue world if we temporarily find we can't play in the digital world. Once we start regarding these not as frustrating interruptions but as welcome opportunities, not only does it feel as though our day is going better, it actually is going better.

There's no doubt, lots of things happen each day that we can regard as frustration but, if you intend to succeed as an Internet Marketer, you'll do it far quicker if you reframe as many of these frustrations as you can as opportunities.

Ivan Eyre spent thirty years pursuing a typical career path, when a series of events led him to suspect there must be more to life. So he and his wife, Carole, decided to see if there was. The answer was a resounding YES!

Ivan and Carole now show others how they can have the life they want if they just make the decision to go out and get it. To get your free report and 21-day video programme, just visit http://www.facebook.com/YourNewFutureStartsHere

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