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Happiness is a direction, not a place.
- Sydney J. Harris
The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction not a destination.
- Carl Rogers
In last week's post, I wrote about the importance of persistence and determination, about not giving up. I wrote about the importance of recognizing when something wasn't working and of being willing to try a different approach. That we can become so invested in the direction we've taken that it blinds us to other possibilities.
I used the image of going up a hill as a metaphor for going after a goal or an objective. I also wrote that sometimes taking a different approach might mean choosing a different hill, a different goal, or objective.
I thought a lot about that metaphor this week. After thinking about it, I'm not sure I liked it, or maybe it's I just didn't like the way I used it. It gives the impression that once you've got to the top and reached your goal, you're done. I think you will agree that's not true.
Because there is always another goal, something else you want to achieve, or there is the feeling like there is something more, something left undone, unfulfilled.
I thought back to the times when I had completed something, achieved what had been an important goal. There was the initial elation, the glow of satisfaction, and the mental high fiving that puts a snap in your step. But before long you start to feel something crowding in on your sense of satisfaction, like some small, persistent child tugging at your sleeve demanding something that eventually becomes a thought impossible to ignore: So now what do I do?
Then, if you are like me, you discover that whatever baggage you thought you had left at the bottom of the hill: the fear, the doubt, those nagging insecurities, worries, anxieties, and the rest of your particular problems, have all seemed to find their way to the top of your new hill just in time to "help" you enjoy it.
Finally, you realize that the hill you're on is surrounded by even higher hills. As one person put it, success is just a ticket to solving a more complex problem. And so off you go eventually onto the next climb.
I like the way Carl Rodgers and Sydney J. Harris describe this notion in their quotes. Success, happiness, living the good life is a process, a set of actions and tools that keep you moving in a direction of your choosing. Its not "I'll be happy after I do X, or I'll have no more worries when I make Y dollars".
For Carl and Sydney, what makes you happy, or at least should make you happy, is the process of completing X or making Y, and then going on to make or complete Z, and so on.
However, I don't know about you, but I haven't always felt so good about the "process" I was in. Clearly, you have to be moving in a direction that works for you. But when you are doing something that is right for you, it really feels good. It is the good life.
So, if happiness, the good life, success is about moving in the right direction, taking the right hill, how do you know what is the right direction or hill.
Conversely, how do you avoid taking the wrong direction, and how do you figure out when you are going in the wrong direction?
Is it even possible to really know, or is it just a roll of the dice, some kind of trial and error, hoping that we end up liking where we end up.
I believe that you can determine the direction that is right for you at any time in your life and you can determine when it is time to change direction in the future.
Figuring out the answers to those what-to-do-next questions begins with understanding what you find meaningful in your life.
Meaning in this context is composed of all the things that you value most in life. Sometimes people will describe meaning as your purpose; what you are meant to do, or what you were put on earth to do. However, I think it is much more than just things you do in the world. Meaning includes what you experience in the world, the events, and people that engage you, your interactions with your environment.
Meaning is closely aligned with inner satisfaction, the aspects of your life that give you pleasure, a deep sense of fulfillment.
Next week I'm going to further explore this concept of meaning and why linking your actions to meaning is so important in finding the right direction, the right set of hills.
Ultimately, we should not ask what the meaning of life is, but rather we must recognize that it is we who must answer what is the meaning of our life. (Paraphrased from a quote by Viktor E. Frankl)
John Golding left a successful 25+ year career as an Information Technology executive to pursue the one part of his old career that he had truly come to love: coaching people.
As a mentor and coach, John has been strongly influenced by Victor Frankel's seminal work Man's Search for Meaning. John has discovered that as important as it is for you to clearly define what you want to do, it is even more important for you to understand why. John teaches that once you understand your purpose, what gives meaning to your life, you become the driver of your actions, and not a passenger.
John often likes to quote Dale Carnegie who wrote, "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get."
Begin your journey to the life you want, to the life you deserve. Learn more at http://www.thesuccesstrigger.com/
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