Pay Forward, Pay Back, Perhaps a Bit of Both - How to Help Someone Involved With an Emotional Abuser

Can you recall a time in your life when someone said a few words to you and you literally can say that that person changed your life?

Many people have had that experience and with gratefulness carry on with their lives being well aware that who they are is because someone took the time to share a bit of wisdom with them. These people know how different their lives might well have been had that particular person at that particular time not said what they said. By the works they do, whether consciously or subconsciously, walk out their lives with an attitude of "paying back." They are thankful for what has been given to them and so want to pay back to their world.

If you haven't yet had the type of experience that you honestly can say, "Someone once told me something that completely changed my life," then consider experimenting with life. Present to your life a challenge. Test the world around you to see if you could create a possible miracle.

Be truthful in what you say to maintain your integrity as a human. And, it's o.k. to be spirited and humorous, as well. If you let your personality flow, you'll be surprised at how you can create a fun and really positive experience.

Most of us don't live in the jungle or desert, so every day endless opportunities cross our paths where we can positively effect another person's life. We don't have to wait until someone "comes knocking on our door." We can "knock on their door." See what happens when you cross paths with an elderly person and you tell them with a big smile on your face, "You're looking mighty fine today." More often than not, it's nearly a guarantee, in return you'll get the biggest positive response. They'll most often laugh and immediately connect with you.

Once you get that type of response and you realize how you can positively effect another human's life just by your being "real" and reaching out, connecting with other humans will become much easier.

Then, when someone "comes knocking on your door" sharing how they're in an emotionally abusive relationship, you'll more easily be able to flow in the "1, 2, 3."

1 - "This is about you."

2 - "What is one thing you are really good at doing in your life?"

3 - "Go out and be the best (their answer) you can be today, tomorrow, and the next day."

Whether you pay forward, pay back, or perhaps a bit of both, you are making a positive difference in the world you live in.

For more explanation of the "1, 2, 3," see article, "A Possible Miracle in One Minute or Less."

FREE eCourse Offer - Ruth Elaine David, Professional Mental Health Provider, helps people escape the psychological prison created by being in relationship with an emotional abuser, more specifically, a narcissistic emotional abuser. To begin the process of escaping torment and "craziness" in your primary intimate relationship, access a FREE 5 Day eCourse today at: http://www.escapeemotionalabusernow.com/

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Sharing Happiness - How to Make Someone Feel Special

How can you let a person know that they are special? It sounds flat if you simply say so, but what else to do? Why is it important to let a person of your choosing know that they are special? Think a moment about the times in your life when it felt really great to be with someone. Most likely, you were feeling special at that moment. You know that everyone wants to feel special to someone. Because that is true, you can develop a series of ways to let a certain someone know that they are special to you. It's fun to do this, and you may find how easily the other person "gets it" and how great it feels for you when they do.

First, let us get rid of a few myths:

Myth One: They already know they're special. Reality: Do they? Everyone likes reminders, for we do forget.

Myth Two: Why should I make a point of it, when no one is doing anything for me? Reality: Because it's fun, and you deserve a little fun in your life. Also, you are reading this, not the other person, so you have the upper hand.

Myth Three: I can't afford a bunch of presents... Reality: Everything in this article is FREE, because that is the way of the heart.

Let us begin. Pick someone in your life who is special to you (even if they aggravate you sometimes.) Perhaps it will be your mate, a teen-age child, your mother-in-law, your friend...

Think about yourself first, for a moment. Which do you like more as a sign of appreciation: Being touched (a pat on the back, a hug...), a gift, words of encouragement, someone doing you a favor, or spending a little quality time together? Most likely it would be at least two of these. These are called the "Languages of Love." Now, take note of which of those you would consider just normal behavior, nothing to make you feel special. You see, people do have their own preferences. Everyone is different!!

Your special person has a language all their own, as well. Decide which two are high on the list of the other person. Now the fun begins:

Every day, do one thing for that person in their language, even if it is not something you would notice for yourself. You will soon figure out which ones get their attention, so you can use that "language" more.

Say something: a thank you for doing a regular chore, for example. Perhaps a compliment, or encouragement for a task they are working on.
Touch them: A pat on the back-literally!--, a tussle of the hair, or a hug for no reason.
Do a favor: Fold their laundry for them, or arrange their shoes in the closet. Perhaps do their dishes or clean their car. Fix something of theirs that is broken.
Gifts-did I say this was free? Yes I did---so: a little bouquet or some vegetables from your garden, a special stone you found, download some music for them, email a joke or a picture-or pick a YouTube that you can watch together.
Quality time-go somewhere together that does not require an entry fee. Beaches, parks, malls, art galleries, parades, open houses and openings down town, car shows, summer outdoor events---even the back yard with lemonade. The world is full!

Now, notice the ways this person is responding, most likely in their own "language", but responding.

Have a good time with your special person.

http://www.katebowditch.com/
I write about hypnosis practice itself and about those experiences that are felt and interpreted by the deepest aspects of ourselves. As a hypnotherapist and author for 15+ years, I explore how we incorporate information from our subconscious mind into our daily lives.

To order my book, "20-20 Insight, Advanced Theory and Practice of Hypnosis," and read more about happiness, please visit my website/blog http://www.katebowditch.com/ (click on "hypnosis")

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