Women's Group Success Practices - Setting the Ground Rules

Every women's group needs to establish basic ground rules to be successful and keep your women coming back. Our suggested rules of the road are easy to understand and easy to maintain, and most importantly must be adhered to for the group to remain cohesive.

These Group Success Practices are meant to be followed at all times during your meetings but are most important when discussing your main topic. It is at this time the group should be a bit more formal, always adhering to the following:

Everyone is to be treated with respect

Each guest is coming to a group to learn and grow. Not everyone will have the same views on topics; not everyone will have the same education or financial stability; not everyone will be on the same page. Snickering, annoyed sighing or eye rolling should never be tolerated.

All ideas are welcomed and there are no right or wrong ideas

Everyone should feel free enough to offer up her ideas or suggestions without worrying that she will be criticized or humiliated. An idea is just that, an idea. It is neither good nor bad, right nor wrong, better nor worse. It is just something to be presented and thought about by everyone.

One person talks at a time

Many groups have a speaking stick, a talking object or some other prop that is passed to and held by the person who has the floor. Your meeting's Facilitator, or if you have a designated Timekeeper, may stop anyone else who interrupts the speaker, gently reminding her that she will have to wait her turn. Most times the talking object holder should expect to speak for about two to three minutes. Remind your guests that you will nudge them to finish up if they get too long-winded.

Practice listening as well as speaking

Remember, it's not always about you. It is said we were given two ears and one mouth because we should listen twice as much as we speak. When others are speaking, they have something worth listening to. Other people have important and differing thoughts than you, and you may learn something new from actively listening.

Confidentiality is crucial

It is often said, "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas." Thoughts, feelings and opinions discussed within the confines of a women's group meeting are to be cherished as something all who attended are privy to. Nothing should be repeated to others outside the meeting. It is only the concern of those who are part of your group. Confidentiality leads to trust, which allows even the most reticent participant to open up and participate.

Remembering these five simple Group Success Practices will ensure that your members feel free to open up and participate actively in your discussions. Safety and security within the confines of your group are essential.

Karen Fusco is co-founder of Boomers In Motion, LLC where 'we talk to women'. She is co-author of Essentials for Starting a Women's Group and "Busy Moms: The Heart and Soul of a Home." Maximize the value of the women in your life by visiting Karen's WomensGroupBusyBites blog.

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Don't Let Congress Erode Laws Protecting Women's Rights and the Disabled

This article discusses why your family should become very interested in what is happening in congress to women and the disabled. Women's rights and disabled people are in jeopardy to lose a lot of their hard gained advances. If families having children with learning disabilities don't get involved, they stand to lose the education benefits for their children. With Autism on the rise, we need everybody paying attention to the debate on entitlements. Congress is protecting the rich while taking from the most vulnerable. Congress is examining the laws of the United States to discern ways to cut the budget. The American with Disabilities Act will be one of the laws that if eroded will adversely affect women, disabled children and other handicapped people. The mentally retarded and autistic children are in the forefront of cuts. Special education is fully funded by the federal government. Also, SSI is not the same as Social Security. There is no trust fund.

From the late 50's to the 1970's, feminists and other activists fought for women's rights and The American Disabilities act.. By the middle 70's these activists made inroads and rejoiced when numerous laws were finally passed by congress. Now a much different congress is attempting to erode laws protecting women and the disabled. Some short sided legislators managed to control our house of representatives through the resources of the Tea Party.

Those determined to turn back the clock seem to gravitate to the Tea Party to use their resources and recognition. The Tea Parties' original intent was to cut government spending, not to change the laws protecting women's rights and the disabled. Not all of the laws being considered are financial in nature. What a shame. I remember reading a quote that indicated that throughout history, when women begin to gain status and power, no matter where they are in the world; they are systematically pushed back by men. Men then again hold the positions of power. The old saying that men should keep women barefoot and pregnant was how they kept power in the past. Hopefully, it will prove impossible to go back to that situation. We have gained so much because of technology and medicine. Women have more choice, but will it last? Without government laws and forcing the backing of those laws, women, handicapped and those with learning disabilities are vulnerable. Evan with the laws in place, many still don't have access to the basic protection of these laws.

A good example is the call for debate on eliminating some of the entitlements. Since most people aren't aware of the entitlements they use, these are the easiest to cut. Those families with disabled individuals need to unite and again fight to keep the rights many struggled so hard to gain. Advocates for seniors have already taken up the Mantra: "Don't cut our Social Security and don't mess with medicare", but these are only two of the entitlements, and social security uses a very different financial accounting than SSI and education entitlements.

We need women to be involved in the feminist fight because we are seeing our laws eroded, and some wanting to destroy our freedoms. The disabled are suffering through assaults on them, and their opportunities to education are coming up for cuts. Families of handicapped worked very hard since the early 50's to assure that mentally retarded had the right to an education, and safe and secure homes. The law that resulted was The Americans with Disabilities Act. This is the law that covers the rules for all education of learning disabilities, and the accessibility of disabled people to the same benefits the non handicapped enjoy. It includes education, SSI, and other entitlements.

I recently discovered this quote by President Kennedy that sums up what being a liberal means.

".... if by a "Liberal" they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people -- their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, and their civil liberties -- someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is what they mean by a "Liberal," then I'm proud to say I'm a "Liberal."

It certainly applies today. We need to have a forward-looking congress, not one repeating the old lies.

that Social Security will disappear for our children and grandchildren is a fallacy often repeated since Franklin Delano Roosevelt was president.That our country is going to go bankrupt, or that another great depression is imminent..That our government can't possibly take care of the most vulnerable.

Our country is exceptionally resilient, full of citizens with ideas and innovation. If they have the opportunity to thrive will develop what this country needs. To say that we have lost the American spirit is false. It is strong, and gets stronger when we have needs to fill.

I worked for 35 years with the mentally retarded and fought for women's rights and the laws governing them. None of us who worked on these laws are entirely satisfied with what congress actually passed, but they are the best we have. With such a diverse population, no one person is going to be satisfied with everything, but the laws we did manage to pass have served the disabled population well. To see the government systematically eroding the laws is unacceptable to me.

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